Music - it was everything. From about the age of 19 to 39, every free moment I had was devoted to music and my favorite place on earth was whatever studio we were all in making it. Most of the studios were in NYC. They were almost always in a basement. One that comes to mind was in Nolita in the basement of what is now a hipster apt building. The Beastie Boys were next store to us and Stuart Zechman of Stabbing Westward was writing songs with me for my show “Yes. Damn it.” It was quite incredible because the single “Hey Man Nice Shot” was all over the radio at the time and I kept saying- “That! That’s the sound I want! “And my producer Marc Jordan introduced me to Stuart in that basement and I was to learn he had just co-written that very song.

The studio is such a special place it is impossible to describe to anyone who hasn’t experienced it. It’s like descending into the womb of creation and consciousness itself where you and a few carefully selected friends are safe enough to put your ear to the ground and to listen to what the universe wants to speak. You pull these threads of sounds and sentiments out of the air and engage in this kind of alchemy of your own pain and hopes and dreams and all the thoughts and secret wishes of the other people in the room and then you push for the audience. You start to passionately sacrifice your time and energy and you stay until it’s complete and you are sure it will move people you may never meet. It’s a selfless act in the end. It’s incredible. It’s music. It’s magic.

I never felt called to study to be a great vocalist, or even a star. I wouldn’t have minded a bit of success as it would have strengthened my ego at the time, but now I see it as such a gift that I was never burdened with the problem of “self.” It was never about me. I didn’t get that far (Thank God.) It was always just about the process, one filled with humility and wonder and a glimmer into creation’s majesty - all at once. As Quincy Jones, obviously one of the truly greats, points out “You know what's amazing about music? From Beethoven all the way to Bo Diddley, all of them had just 12 notes.”…it’s all in how you play it. Music is so highly personal. Just like in painting there is a palette - a rainbow of colors to choose from - to mix, to shade, to contrast, before you make absolute mud…so too, is there a cacophony of possibility in music, from different styles to great tempos, to moods and tones, before you just make noise. You can literally use the notes to express your deepest feelings, questions, struggles, hopes, dreams, desires and more. It’s an incredible language.

One of the more sinister ironies in art, but especially in the endless pursuit of “cool” in music and the quest for “fame” (whatever the heck that really is…think about it..what is that?!) in acting, is that there is a pull to “making it” and being the “best” that actually pulls you AWAY from the genuine gift art has to offer you - healing and coming home to oneself, while inspiring and uplifting others. Not to say some artist don’t do both, many do, but the “cool/fame” demon almost always comes to eat up the artist alive sooner or later…because the quest for fame or being attractive or sought after or worshipped, is the antithesis of serving a force greater than yourself - creation - and giving generously to the audience.

So with the art, comes the temptation, and I was lucky enough to get out of the game before sacrificing my very self to try and get a piece of the gilded fools gold.

Some music shots from along the way…